Gainesville Ocala Swing and Social Dance Newsletter 2013-11-08
Hello Gainesville Ocala Social Dancers,
This is week 4 of 6 for Swing 101 at Gainesville Health and Fitness. Class starts on time at 7:30 pm. At 8:30 pm we will play music so you can practice. Take advantage of the practice time. This is when what you train your body what you learned in class.
UF Swing club does not meet this week because of Homecoming. Next week, maybe we will take the Swing classes on a field trip to join the UF Swing club, which would be on Friday, November 15 at 9 pm at the Unified Training Center, 809 W University Avenue. Everyone is welcome to meet us there.
The monthly Argentine Tango Milonga is this Saturday at the Movement.
Ray and Eileen hold their Ballroom Dance on Saturday night.
Nick and the Swingtastics play at Loosey's this Sunday.
Andrea is running a beginner series for Argentine Tango. Treat yourself and take this class. pham.andrea@gmail.com
See below for an article Andrea forwarded on why love and dancing may not go well together.
Ginger Rogers at 92 Swing Dancing with her grand son
Happy Dancing,
Andy
publish@gainesvilledance.com
352-327-3672
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Gainesville and Ocala Dance Calendar
Note: if you do not see the calendar in color, click the compatibility view in your browser. In Internet Explorer, press alt-t, then check Compatibility View.
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Dance Quotes:
- Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. ~ Auguste Rodin, 1840-1917
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Dance Schedule: confirm all programs before going
2. Friday 11/08 - Super Simple Swing 101, 4 of 6, with Andy at Gainesville Health and Fitness
3. Friday 11/08 - No Dance this Week for UF Swing Club
4. Saturday 11/09 - Argentine Tango Milonga El Abrazo
5. Saturday 11/09 - Ballroom Dance Party
6. Sunday 11/10 - Nick and the Swingtastics at Loosey's
7. Monday 11/11 - English Country Dancing
8. Monday 11/11 - Israeli Dancing with Andy
9. Tuesday 11/12 - Ballroom Dancing with Ray and Eileen
10. Tuesday 11/12 - Beginning and Intermediate Lindy Hop Swing with Richard
11. Wednesday 11/13 - Beginning Argentine Tango with Andrea Pham
12. Wednesday 11/13 - UF Argentine Tango Club Class and Dancing
13. Wednesday 11/13 - West Coast Swing with Judi
14. Thursday 11/14 - Senior Line Dancing with Andy via SFC Community Education
15. Thursday 11/14 - Ballroom Dancing with Ray and Eileen - Ballroom Waltz
16. Thursday 11/14 - Super Simple Swing 102, 3 of 6, with Andy via SFC Community Education
17. Friday 11/15 - UF Swing Club
18. Saturday 11/16 - Contra Dance at the Boltin Center
19. Sunday 11/17 - Vintage Waltz Brunch
20. Wednesday 10/20 - West Coast Swing Dance Party with Josh
21. Friday 11/22 - Swing and Sway Tea Dance
22. Friday 11/22 - International Folk Dancing
23. Sunday 11/01 - Contra Dance
24. Saturday 12/07 - West Coast Swing Dance Party with Josh Angel
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Ongoing Dancing:
Argentine Tango with David and Thuy on Tuesdays in a downtown private home for free. david.chayes@gmail.com
Ballroom, Latin, Swing Dance in Ocala. Trish, ocaladancecenter@centurylink.net, 352-216-1657
Latin dancing on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, Bachata, Cha Cha, Salsa at the Unified Training Center. www.salsacalientestudios.com/gainesville.html
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Classes with Andy Offered via Santa Fe College Community Education
To sign up visit www.sfcollege.edu/cied/communityed
Or call Jennifer 352-395-5193
1. Senior Line Dancing with Andy (sign up under Seniors, not Dance)
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Article: Why Love and Dancing May Not Go Well Together
Why Love and Tango Do Not Always Go Well Together
There exists a belief that tango makes love relationships really difficult. I often hear: "In tango people are exposed to romantic temptations all the time. It is very difficult to build a stable couple this way." Are love relationships really different in tango? And what is the role of tango in all of this?
When two people come to tango in a couple, they bring with them their specific couple dynamic. While they are learning tango together, this dynamic is playing up. Their connection is tested by learning a new activity together, and not only together, but in total dependence of each other. How well they listen to each other, how insecure they are, how much they want to please or criticise the other, how much responsibility they take for their own emotions: all this transpires in how they learn tango together. The learning process does not define the couple dynamic, the couple's dynamic defines the learning process. In short, the couple can make it very easy for themselves - or very difficult.
Women are often happier in the beginning of tango, while men struggle; then comes a point that men start to enjoy tango and the plentiful choice of dance partners, and women run into their first tango troubles: lack of technique and lack of invitations. Sometimes one partner advances quicker or is a more gifted dancer, and this becomes hard to handle for the other person. Insecurities blossom; jealousy comes into play.
Tango can make your relationship flourish or it can be the beginning of the end. But is it really tango's fault?
Tango is only a context that life puts us in, so that we can work out our internal conflicts. It is there for our joy, but also for our personal development. Tango will become a playground for your relationship problems, but only if there were problems already waiting to be revealed. It may be that your issue is lack of self-confidence, and tango is the perfect context to bring this up. If you are suffering in tango, it has nothing to do with tango and everything to do with you. There is no specific tango-related insecurity, it is the same insecurity you always carry inside yourself, only now it is playing with a new toy. Blaming tango for making you insecure is like blaming food for making you hungry. Tango gives us ample opportunities to become more wholesome, wiser, better human beings, but we have to want to go there - and find the means whereby.
When two affirmed tango dancers fall in love it is a slightly different story. Each of them already had some tango experience, found his/her favorite dancers, developed his/her own "coping strategies" in tango world. Dance compatibility can fuel romantic attraction and romantic attraction can fuel dance compatibility, which actually feels a lot like romantic attraction. A student of mine, who studies neurology, told me that tango experience (movement, touch, embrace, odors, sweat, intense presence in the moment) can trigger your brain to believe you are falling in love. Unending tandas, full immersion in one another, intense bliss. We all have had that feeling at least once in our tango life. Yet not all dancers who share a good connection on the dancefloor end up falling in love with each other. However, the majority of dancers who do fall in love in tango, do so while dancing.
What about building longterm relationships, is it more difficult in tango? Frankly, I don't see why it should be more difficult in tango than anywhere else. Building a solid longterm relationship IS DIFFICULT, period. I know couples who manage and others who don't. However, there is one important factor. If your primary and only shared interest is tango, building a longterm relationship WILL be difficult. For a relationship to work you will need other common interests, some shared background, a strong friendship, something to talk about, compatible temperaments, compatible sexuality and so on. No matter how deeply you both feel about tango, it is still just a dance. A lot of relationships don't survive in tango because, except for tango, they don't have much else to survive upon.
When we start a relationship, we often feel that we somehow own our partner, and that we are entitled to get satisfaction for our needs from our partner. Tango becomes one of those needs and we take it personally when this need is not satisfied. We become unforgiving with our partner and nurture expectations we would otherwise never have. With other dancers we are open to any experience: if it is bad we prefer to forget it, if it is good we like to remember. With our life partner we often expect nothing but the BEST, right now and s/he'd better give it to us exactly the way we like it! We forget the good, but we damn well make sure we remember the worst!
The truth is, your partner doesn't have to be your favourite dancer, and neither do you. This expectation only puts unnecessary pressure on both of you. Do you like exactly the same food? Exactly the same books? Exactly the same movies? If it does not work between the two of you in the dance, then maybe you are compatible in life but not in tango. Which one is more important, in the end? Wanting your partner to be everything for you in your life (your best lover, your best friend and your best tandas) is not always a realistic expectation. It fits well with what tango lyrics talk about, but we all know that lovers from tango lyrics are not the best of lovers, they are just the most volatile ones. It still can happen that your love partner is also your favorite dancer, in that case enjoy it to the fullest. But if it doesn't happen, do what you already do with other people: be open to any experience. Forget when it doesn't work, remember when it does. Take it easy. It's a dance. There'll always be another tanda.
Veronica Toumanova
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